Old friends

“See, the thing is that you never were a good friend, and despite what I thought, you weren’t my best friend. You may have tried, but at some point, you simply didn’t care. Really, more often than not, you were so self-absorbed that you managed to anger an incredible number of people and not care about it, then not understand why they were mad at your inconsideration. I made excuses for your behavior, instead of acknowledging that you simply weren’t as good of a person as you thought you were. I should have known, and understood, when I told you I had what sure seemed like a dream job, but your reaction was muted, then jealous. And when my real friends finally got all that through to me, I realized that I deserved a hell of a lot better.

“And let’s face it, my life’s a lot better without you. I have friends from both my old job and my current job who are wonderful folks. They supported me while I was unemployed and congratulated me when I finally got to where I was now. And my lifelong friends — and you could have been one — kept me grounded and hopeful and able to recognize the blessings in my life.

“Without you in my life, I know I’ve changed for the better. Of course, there’s plenty about my life that still needs improving, but I know I’ve improved my life over the last few years. I hope you can say the same — but somehow, I doubt that’s the case.”

*            *            *

I could have said that all to her, perhaps not using the same words or the tone of voice I would have preferred. But I didn’t. Instead, when I saw her, walking toward me but talking on her phone and not really looking in front of her, I simply, and probably wisely, walked by.

I doubt she noticed me. Who would expect to see someone they didn’t want to in a city of three million? I didn’t plan on it, myself. But I saw her, and she didn’t notice me. And yeah, that was fitting.

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