I am very, very mad at my body right now.
I have played the organ for more than 14 years. In that time, I have never canceled out on an organ assignment. And I mean never. I once played a Mass with a 102-degree fever because I couldn’t get a substitute on emergency notice. And I’ve toughed out a lot of other assignments.
But I’m so miserably ill today that I had to cancel out on the confirmation I was supposed to play tonight and ask the music director for an emergency substitute. It’s my first cancellation ever, but I didn’t have a choice.
I didn’t sleep much last night (and still can’t, which is part of why I have time to write a blog post). I’m sneezing and stuffed up and headachy and exhausted. I called in sick to the day job, and I don’t have enough in me to adequately play tonight.
I hate this, you see. I pride myself on my professionalism at organisting. I’m always at church well ahead of Mass. I dress professionally and don’t half-do anything. I don’t no-show. I get paranoid over whether I’ve inadvertently missed something because of misreading a schedule. So you can imagine how profusely I was apologizing to the music director, and you can imagine how angry I am right now with my immune system.
But there’s nothing I can do right now, except for try to get some sleep and recover as soon as I can. With any luck, I’ll wake up tomorrow closer to 100%.