A sign that your church’s sound system may be getting a little bit too complicated

I stared at the church’s new audio board.

Basically, one of these things, but it was a little more modern.

It was sitting in a mostly enclosed box behind the digital piano, in front of a pew, resting on a slightly uneven, teetering-a-little-bit school desk. This, its installer proudly noted, will ensure that when people are singing and playing downstairs (as opposed to the organ loft, where they probably should be, but I digress). There were a zillion inputs, buttons, levers, and all sorts of other stuff I didn’t understand. And when I played the digital piano, its sound came out of the digital piano and the speakers, which was a bit disorienting. I couldn’t quite hear the choir’s voices. I could only sort of hear the acoustic guitar next to me.

“I might need one of those monitor earpiece things,” I said.

Those are these things.

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea,” the installer dude said.

Uh-oh.

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